Roast
DAVE ON STEVEN SEAGAL
Take 1 of 5
Decom-Dave · QC desk
Steven Seagal shuffles into parole in a ponytail wig, still fat from every straight-to-DVD payday. Took SEC money to shill Bitcoiin2Gen, didn't tell a soul he was paid, got caught anyway. Board asks about rehabilitation. He roundhouse-kicks the air and pulls a hamstring. Denied, ya washed-up muppet.